After two months and a couple of grounding camping trips, I am finally feeling settled into my new place at LSI. I'm also feeling ready to relaunch my old consulting business that has provided my main line of income for many years. I figure by having the income and home parts of my life well-arranged, I can move gently and slowly forward on Fractal Praxis.
But maybe something Bigger Than Me has different plans at this time for me, its intimate channel.
A Bigger Expression of Fractal Praxis Wants to Be Born
You see, when intuition guides me, I cannot say no. Or, rather, I used to say no, then got tired of suffering the consequences. (I've also said "yes" reactively, without listening carefully to the detailed content of the visions. Both have gotten me into trouble. I keep on refining my praxis.) So, as a norm, and yes as a pattern, I abide what I see when I see it surging through me like blissful clarity.
Quite unexpectedly, in the days before I was due to head back to my desk to restart my old business, what felt like... hm, I think the best metaphorical and thus quick way to describe it would be the first birthing contractions—came through around Fractal Praxis' multi-decade, widely influential future in the world.
I have been surprised and pleased, and a little intimidated, to feel the first contractions of Fractal Praxis wanting to be born in the world in a new, more comprehensive, and more coherent way. It has taken the shape of "downloads" of streaming "complete" ideas and thoughts about how to elegantly structure the many & complex teachings of FP, and how it could look to roll out a complete and sustainable practitioner community framework in the coming years—with the coming decades in mind.
Knowing these ropes, knowing I must give in (with discernment) to what wants to happen through me, and seeing in retrospect the mad genius of the timing of this, I am yielding. After the effort of trying to stumble and fumble through "how to do" this queer vision under the label "Fractal Praxis" for the past two years, this kind of spontaneous synthesis (breakthrough) is a welcome type of grace. 😥
But it also means the sudden imperative to reorganize my priorities ahead of me, to rebalance all the parts of my life that I need to thrive, to be a better channel and to be better held by my community.
🌊🤿🫧In short: I am embarking on a spelunking into my archives. 🌊🤿🫧
It's like suddenly taking that courageous breath and diving in... into the mad quantities of written documents both digital and physical, stacks of notes and books with post-its, and voice recordings, sending up a splash of paper scraps swirling around me. Diving into the dark waters with only the bearings of knowing what must happen, and knowing loosely what I'm seeking... even though I have no idea what form I will find it in.
So, as I am immersed in this process, and as I come across things, and before I get more traction around that big picture vision, I might come to this newsletter space with relatively random yet evocative offerings like this one. At first the shares might seem disjointed, little dalliances and plays with pleasure. And eventually, what will be written here will seem more stitched-together, unfurling like a splendid quilt, that is conveying a longer and bigger story... one we are all invited into, and indeed, is put forth for the benefit of all living beings.
Truer Words
Lately I've been stepping more and more into my power as not just a facilitator, but a poet and singer. Like last night at the Shared Mic (which is happening every other Saturday at Shared Ground, check it out!)
I publish poetic, evocative, nonlinear writings sometimes under the banner "Truer Words" as in the old phrase, "truer words have ne'er been spoken..." Because in poetry, there's no expectation by western academics (who would arrogantly deem to control the methods and means to ALL valid knowledge 🤢) for it be proving or telling "truth," I find I'm less restricted and can speak much more directly, if perturbingly, about the truth. There's a few Truer Words pieces already on the Fractal Praxis blog (which doubles as the archive of all these newsletters!), so check them out if you're called to further explore my poetry/artistry.
These are statements in their own right about the unity within complexity of things, but they are often targeting the soft tissue of your subconscious, your emotions, your embodied knowledges. Using rhymes and rhythms and resonant frequences to contact and reattune your inner landscape. So it just "hits" different than my teachings which might require rational explanation and left brain engagement. Like how you sometimes have to blur your vision (or soften your mind) to suddenly see something more clearly.
Here is a clip selected and harvested from my personal journal from 6 years ago that I find very much in the Truer Words vein. Hope you enjoy.
from journal "love" p 79-80
Saying no to decent things,
saying yes to only the best—
it's a tough new level on game Caroline quest.
Making beauty for the sake of it
moving on for the shake of it,
the spark makes a break for it:
don't slide into safe.
The edge of consciousness
is where all the wiggy action is.
You're radically sane.
Fringe visions spell mad geniuses, your karmic company,
as patterned through the ages.
Of all the ways you could quite justify it,
try: "It just doesn't feel right to me."
All other explanations are messy extra-makings, exacerbating.
Move on like the moon,
ever locked into mesmerizing dance
set apart at a delightful tension
two bodies made of common stuff in magnetizing orbit.
Forfeit all conceit.
Freedom to do what one likes is really bondage
While being free to do what one must, what is right,
is real freedom.*
I and we and all can be seen
exists to inspire.
Recklessly and relentlessly, inspire
and accept only inspiration.
***
Please join me, dear reader, in taking a big deep breath... as I go under to brave the dank depths... for its own sake, and to come back up with gold to share with you.
Yours in obedience to our higher selves,
C.
